Sunday, April 1, 2012

Paris Hilton - Fashionista, Actress, Singer, and Cologne Spokes-stripper

Paris Hilton, celebrity of National Lampoon's Pledge This, One Night in London, and some Carl's Junior ads also has a number of songs to share with us and a various of her fragrance as well. 

She has a pretty good song, Stars are Blind, which is fairly surprising for a model, heiress, fashionista, harlot or whatever you might call her. I guess that money, while not necessarily buying happiness, CAN buy you a good studio band and producer.

Apparently, if you like girls in "school girl outfits", you'll want to see “Pledge This, listen to "Stars are Blind", and smell like her, or if you're a guy -- have her like the way you smell.

One might logically think that her men's cologne must smell like she wants her man to smell.  At least, I assume that guys who buy the Paris Hilton Cologne must think that.  Maybe its girls who want to be like Paris Hilton who buy their men the Paris Hilton cologne.  They're out shopping for their own perfumes, some clothes, maybe a sexy costume or two and some slutty heels for a special evening they're planning, then while they're at the Paris Hilton counter perfume they get a whiff of the Paris Hilton cologne and think... "mmmm... that smells yummy..." and pick it up for their man, who then wears it dutifully hoping that those costumes and heels they saw on the receipt are also intended for him... but maybe not... not if you reject that cologne I bought you.  But if you smell yummy, I might just eat you all up.

Maybe, if you're extra lucky, she picks up a portable stripper pole as well, just to send the evening spiraling downward into a den of hedonism that further mirrors the life of Paris Hilton.

Did you know that there's a brand of portable stripper pole called "MiPole".  I have to assume that's pronounced "My Pole".  Once you buy one of those, a number of conversational opportunities obviously come up.  "Hey honey, why don't you whip out mipole, and dance around a bit on it?"  "I'm sure glad I married you, you really know how to work MiPole."  I'm thinking that mipole must require a great deal of polishing to keep it well maintained.  So, when you're polishing the various other knobs in the bedroom, you can polish mipole while you're in the mood for that sort of thing.  Insert another joke here about polishing knobs and poles.  These are just too easy.

All of this talk about easy and poles and knob polishing takes us back to "One might in Paris" and Paris' incredibly poor performance in that.  Sure, you're hot, honey, but that's not enough in the long run.  Hotness fades, and after that, skill and interest have to play a role in the process.  And it appears that she possesses neither.  Pity.  Maybe that explains why she decided to make a men's cologne, or two, or three.  Did I mention that she also has a line of (stripper) shoes?  ...and hair extensions?

I think she really needs to cut to the chase, and start her own line of portable stripper poles.  She'd make a mint.  Oh... I forgot she already has one of those.  Nevermind.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Paris Hilton Cologne: Paris Hilton Man Spray

Man Spray.  They seriously call this product Man Spray?  That is just the funniest thing ever.  I won’t say more about the name, the jokes are just too easy.

Launched by the design house of Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Man Spray (chuckle) is a men's cologne that possesses a blend of fig leaf (shouldn’t these be worn?), cucumber, green mango, amber, white sage, cedarwood, and juniper. They recommend this cologne for daytime wear.  I guess you’re supposed to wear it to hit on the girls at school or work, so you can get invited to raucous afterschool/after-work activities.
This Paris Hilton Cologne defines the new rules of attraction with a fragrance of daring, combined with ultra-masculine quantities. I’m not sure what “ultra-masculine” smells like, but I guess the marketing folks who work for Paris Hilton want to make sure that there isn’t confusion about whether you’re going to smell girly or not.
All the senses are triggered from the first instant. The heart of this fragrance gives it momentum, with a high voltage encounter between elegant White Sage, energetic Juniper Bud and modern Hydroponic Basil. This carries the original seductive qualities of top note. A promise of discoveries evolves, as the base notes unfold. Vibrant Moroccan Cedarwood, hypnotic Cucumber and primal Bare Amber create a deeply seductive blend. The fragrance evolves toward an uninhibited sensual dimension that is Paris Hilton Men. Now "That's Hot".
Now that’s just too many adjectives for me, but, apparently it smells good.  Really good.  Yummy, in fact.  I guess the marketing people couldn’t put -- “Girls will think you smell yummy”.  I don’t know why not, that’s the whole reason for it, isn’t it?

Paris Hilton Cologne reviews for Paris Hilton Man Spray by Paris Hilton for Men

Great simple scent for anytime by Ish Singh 
I have tried various colognes for different occasions and this is one of those that spans across work wear to evening wear. It is not too overpowering and it does last a good while even after washing my shirts it still lingers.
It is not one of the musky scents that a man would be accustomed to but it indefinitely a new age scent that one gets accustomed very quickly when you startreceiving the kind compliments of a great scent.
Paris Hilton Man by Paris Hilton for Men. Eau De Toilette Spray Smells Terrific by Purnama N. Tjuradi
I got this perfume for my husband and the women's version for myself. I love thesmell of the ladies' perfume and got complimented whenever wearing it. I urgedhusband to use his. When he finally did, the first comment he made was: wow! Itsmells terrific! Good bargain for the size and the smell.

Awesome by Madhu Mittal
Paris Hilton Men Eau De Toilette Spray by Paris Hilton is by far one of the best colognes I've put on. Don't think twice about buying it.

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Paris Hilton Men Eau De Toilette Spray